


Did You Just Grab My Fucking Ass?

by cantfuckinbelievethis (orphan_account)



Series: Prompts [40]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Awkward!Ian, Crushes, M/M, Matchmaker!Mandy, Threats, but lets all pretend that he's punched later in the day for no reason, for karmic purposes, injuries tw, no one grabs Mickey's ass without consequences, sexual harrassment tw, violence tw, well except in this the guy gets away with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9397058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cantfuckinbelievethis
Summary: Prompt: (Bus AU:) you know Mickey has a really nice ass so it should not be surprising if some creep decides to play grab-ass on a packed bus, and of cos right before Ian the secret admirer plucks the courage to speak to Mickey he got misunderstood as the handsy creep?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not taking prompts atm, but here's my Tumblr:  
> cantfuckinbelievethis

It was finally going to happen, Ian decided as he stood at the bus stop. The bus would be here any minute, and on that bus would be the extremely cute boy he’d been perving on for weeks now. And today, he was finally, _finally_ going to ask him out.  
  
    As the time between Ian and such event shortened, Ian imagined all the ways he could ask him out. Maybe he’d open with a joke, or just straight out tell him that he’s in love with him and would like to have his babies…Maybe he should just wing it. Nerves rose in Ian’s chest as the bus pulled around the corner, heading towards him at a speed he thought was unusually fast. Maybe it was just the nerves and anticipation — weeks of hopelessly pining and stalker-ishly staring had all led to this moment. It just had to go well.  
  
    When the bus pulled up in front of him, Ian’s heart sunk. It was totally crowded, barely any breathing spaces between people. He would just be able to fit up the front, and it would be hell to try and get to the Cute Boy, who he could see was further up the back. Sticking out his chin as he climbed aboard, he promised himself he wouldn’t let it phase him. He was doing this _today_ , even if he had to shove past a bunch of people to do it.  
  
    He settled himself up the front, hanging onto a pole to steady himself as he faced the back. Some people eyed him curiously, since you didn’t usually _want_ to face the bunch of people facing the front, but otherwise everyone ignored him. Ian bit his lip, stretching his neck to spot the Cute Boy. He had his back to Ian, facing a girl who had managed to get a seat and talking to her. Ian wasn’t put off over the fact that he was talking to a girl since, through a lot of eavesdropping, he’d found out that it was Cute Boy’s sister.  
  
    He counted three people between them and almost groaned. How the fuck was he supposed to get over there? Especially when the bus was moving. There was always the option to just yell, “ _Move, I’m gay and there’s a cute boy over there_!” That wasn’t really a favourable option, though. No, he knew he had to get crafty…and maybe a little evil if he wanted to get up there. All’s fair in love and war, they say.  
  
    The man in front of him definitely didn’t look like he would be moving for Ian anytime soon. He was wearing a Trump hat as well, so Ian knew he wouldn’t be swayed even if Ian explained his gay crush. Instead, with a lot of determination and maybe even a little spite, he waited until the bus swayed everyone as they came to another stop before purposefully swinging forward and knocking the briefcase out of the guy’s hand. It dropped and papers went everywhere. With a small smirk as the man cursed him out and sidestepped to grab some flyaway paper, Ian slipped past him and eyed his next obstacle.  
  
    The woman in front of him was pregnant and frowning uncomfortably at a seated man who was pointedly ignoring her as he lounged across two handicapped spots. Ian’s eye twitched at how much of a dickhead this guy was, taking up a seat when a pregnant woman needed to sit down. He knew what to do immediately — two birds, one stone.  
  
    Scowling, he leant forward and said to the man, ‘You should really give up your seat for her, you know. Or at least move the fuck over.’  
  
    The man lazily looked up at him, reminding him a lot of Frank when he sneered, ‘Make me, Carrot Top.’  
  
    Ian glanced out the window, realising that he didn’t have enough time to waste arguing with this asshole. They were ten minutes away from Cute Boy’s stop and he still had one more person to get past. Knowing he needed to go to extreme measures, he said, ‘I can hit a freckle from 200 yards with an M16. Move the fuck over.’  
  
    The man eyed Ian as if he wasn’t sure whether to believe him, but ended up begrudgingly moving over. The woman smiled gratefully at Ian before sitting down, shuffling away from the man. The man faced away from her, scowling. Ian shot him a warning glare before facing his next obstacle, beaming at how close he was to Cute Boy. It was just one guy around his age.  
  
    Ian studied the guy, trying to figure out how to get around him as he shuffled closer, when he realised that the guy himself was standing pretty close to Cute Boy. He could see him taking his hand out of his pocket and Ian stepped closer, peering in to see what he was doing. Suddenly, Cute Boy jumped and Ian was being shoved into him by the guy who had just been in front of him. Cute Boy immediately spun around and shoved Ian away, scowling.  
  
    ‘Did you just grab my fuckin’ ass?’ he demanded.  
  
    Ian’s eyes widened in horror, realising that’s what the other guy did. The other guy who had just jumped out of the side door of the bus as it pulled to a halt. Oh, _fuck_. ‘I promise, I didn’t do it!’  
  
    ‘Mickey, he—’ the sister tried to interrupt.  
  
    ‘You think you can just play grab-ass on a packed bus, and I won’t fuckin’ notice, huh?’ Cute Boy, Mickey, was clearly gearing up to kick Ian’s ass.  
  
    Ian was about to respond when, suddenly, a punch was being delivered right to his throat. He collapsed on the floor of the bus, people around him shifting out of the way as the driver opened the side door again.  
  
    Somewhere in his oxygen-deprived brain, he could hear the sister yelling, ‘Mickey, what the fuck? He didn’t do it! Another guy did!’  
  
    ‘All of you, out!’ the driver shouted, stepping through everyone until he was standing by Ian’s crumbled body. He reached down and yanked Ian’s arm, roughly pulling him up and shoving him out the side door.  
  
    ‘Mother _fucker_ ,’ Ian hissed as he hit the concrete.  
  
    ‘Jesus Christ, be more fuckin’ careful with him!’ Mickey shouted as he jumped off the bus after Ian, his sister following after him.  
  
    ‘You punched him in the throat, superstar,’ the driver said dryly before climbing back into the bus, shutting the doors and pulling away.  
  
    ‘Fuck you!’ Mickey and his sister yelled out after the bus.  
  
    Ian was a little dizzy as he finally sat up, rubbing his head to check for any wounds before leaning up against the building behind him. Luckily, he just seemed to have bruised up his hip and not gotten a concussion. The dizziness was probably just from the stress of the situation. Mickey crouched beside him and Ian looked up at him in a daze.  
  
    ‘You alright there, Red?’ Mickey murmured, lightly touching the side of his head. ‘Sorry for punching you; thought you were some kinda pervert.’  
  
    Ian felt a whole new kind of dizzy as he stared into those bright blue eyes and he just wanted to press his face further into Mickey’s hand, nuzzling him like a goddamn cat or something. ‘Yeah, ‘m good. You’re really pretty.’ Okay, maybe he had hit his head a bit too hard.  
  
    Mickey’s sister just snorted loudly and Mickey scowled at her. ‘Shut the fuck up, Mandy.’  
  
    ‘I’m sorry. He’s just so cute,’ Mandy laughed. ‘You think he’s got a concussion?’  
  
    ‘What the fuck are you trying to say?’ Mickey joked. ‘Nah, I reckon he’s good.’ He turned back to Ian. ‘You know who the president is?’  
  
    Ian screwed his face up at that question.  
  
    Mandy nodded, sprawling out against the building next to him. ‘Yeah, he knows.’  
  
    Mickey took a seat on his other side, looking out at the almost empty street before turning to Ian and Mandy. ‘Alright, what are we gonna do? Wait for the next bus? Take him to the hospital?’  
  
    Ian shook his head. ‘I don’t need the hospital. I’m fine.’ Realising he was finally talking to Cute Boy, or Mickey…probably better, he turned to him and said, ‘Actually…while I’ve got you here…’  
  
    Mickey arched his eyebrows. ‘Yeah?’  
  
    ‘I was so close behind you on the bus when that guy grabbed your ass because…well…I was actually hoping…’  
  
    ‘Oh my God,’ Mandy muttered under her breath.  
  
    Ian powered on despite that comment. ‘I wanted to ask if you wanted to go out with me.’  
  
    Mickey seemed frozen for a moment before his eyes widened. ‘Like a date?’  
  
    ‘Oh God. You’re straight, aren’t you?’ Ian was mortified. Here was the guy who had just been sexually harassed on a bus, and Ian was asking him out when he wasn’t even straight. ‘I’m sorry, I just thought you were really cute and I didn’t want to—’  
  
    ‘Shut the fuck up,’ Mickey interrupted. ‘I’m _not_ straight. I just wasn’t…expecting this, is all. I…don’t really know what to say.’  
  
    ‘Oh my fucking Christ,’ Mandy huffed. ‘You two are hopeless. Mickey, I’m catching the next bus home…or maybe I’ll walk, it isn’t that far. You two are going to that diner around the corner and getting lunch. No arguments.’ Mandy stood, brushing herself off. ‘Nice to meet you…?’  
  
    ‘Ian.’  
  
    ‘Ian.’ Mandy nodded. ‘I’m Mandy, in case you didn’t already hear. Alright, later losers.’  
  
    And, with that, she strolled away.  
  
    Ian sat there for a moment, unsure of how to take what just happened. Slowly, he faced Mickey and saw that he was smirking a little to himself at his sister’s attitude. Ian didn’t really know how to take that, either.  
  
    ‘Uh…You don’t have to go out with me if you don’t want.’  
  
    ‘Don’t want to disobey my sister, man. You don’t know her ‘till you’ve fought her. Bitch is tough.’ Mickey laughed a little at the confused look on Ian’s face. ‘I want to, man. Come on, let’s go.’  
  
    Mickey stood in one fluid motion, reaching down to help Ian up. When Ian swayed slightly on his feet, Mickey grabbed his arm to steady him and eyed him in half concern, half amusement.  
  
    ‘If you pass out at the table, I’m just leaving you there,’ Mickey warned with a grin.  
  
    Ian laughed. ‘I won’t.’  
  


* * *

That night, Mandy was awoken to what she could only describe as really loud, rough sex. Letting out a loud groan, she lifted herself out of bed and smacked her fist against the wall a few times until the noises came to a halt.  
  
    ‘Be careful with him, Mick! Poor guy had an asshole punch him in the throat today!’ Mandy shouted.  
  
    All she could hear were some chuckles before the faint noise of them starting up again. With a scowl, she dropped back into bed and put in some earplugs she kept on her bedside table for nights like this, of which there were a lot. Usually they were different guys, but she thought maybe Ian was the exception.


End file.
